December 10, 2008


Triggers that set off anger can be either:

INTERNAL: for which you can control

EXTERNAL for which you have no control

It is important to tune into CUES that indicate anger escalation. Cues manifest in a variety of ways such as clenched teeth, clenched fists, increased heart rate, etc.
Cues can be dealt with by anger reducers such as SELF-TALK and TIME OUTS.

Once the anger has de-escalated and you are feeling calm and in control it is important to evaluate the situation.

What did the other person do/say that triggered my anger?

What was my responder to the trigger?

What can I do now to address the situation? Refer to the FAIR FIGHTING documentation.

REMEMBER: Responding to your anger by lashing out only serves to hurt the other person. It does not solve the problem.

Dealing with the situation once your anger has de-escalated allows you to evaluate the situation and your trigger. By dealing with the situation calmly following the fair fighting guide-lines you improve communication between yourself and the other person, you may be able to problem solve the issue and you feel better about yourself for having dealt with the anger in a healthy way. And, best of all, NO ONE GETS HURT.

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